i think there’s like a fucking owl right outside my window
i opened my window and wow thats a lot of owls
THESE ARE NOT NORMAL OWL SOUNDS
I THINK OWLS ARE HAVING SEX OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
You’ve ignored your Hogwarts letter for far too long. They’re resorting to drastic measures.
- Me: Harry Potter is, like, the gateway fandom. You start reading the books, then all of a sudden you have a Sonic Screw driver, you're carrying salt everywhere and awkwardly in love with Sherlock Holmes and you don't really know how any of it happened, but you're pretty sure it started because Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursely of 4 Privet Drive were proud to say that they were perfectly normal thank you very much.
- Friend: I don't even know how to respond to that.
why havent i seen this yet?
here’s the fic.
Um, I thought these were real people.
Why does no one speak of this work of art?
I brought this movie to work once and my coworkers thought they were real people for ten full minutes.
The man who drew him is Herge, the original author of Tintin.
(Source: haythamkenwayss)
Showing my love for Studio Ghibli and all that they taught me. x
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
it makes me so uncomfortable when people swear at their parents like i would get straight up beaten if i told my mom to shut the fuck up
It is your wedding day, you have waited for this moment all of your life.
The ceremony begins, and as you watch your bride-to-be begin her walk down the isle, the music begins…
KISS KISS, FALL IN LOVE.
I write sins not five page research papers
i cybered on omegle today
- You: hi
- Stranger: hey
- You: wanna cyber
- Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
- You: ya
- Stranger: And okay then, you start?
- You: i come into ur bedroom
- You: and ur sleeping
- You: and i crawl under your blanket
- Stranger: I'm still asleep
- You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
- You: and u wake up and smile
- Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
- You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
- You: cutting off your penis
- Stranger: wait
- You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
- Stranger: Then what...?
- You: I HATE YOU
- Stranger: I didn't cheat
- You: you bleed to death in your bed
- Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
- You: nobody ever knows what happened
- You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
- You: the end
- Stranger: I have a mercedes?
- You: not anymore faggot
- Your conversation partner has disconnected.
